Married Life, trying to conceive

Baby Making = Sex Sucks

Trying to have a baby? At first, its all fun and games until it sucks the fun out of sex.

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year now. He’s gone for two weeks at a time. When he first started trying he’d see my parents on his way home from work and tell them “I’d be pregnant by the end of the weekend.” *EYE ROLL* He obviously at the time did not understand how a woman’s body works with respect to fertilization.

Needless to say a year later, he’s no longer saying that. Sex when trying to get pregnant has sooooo many rules. At first, it’s really fun. You have an extra reason to have sex all the time!!!! You drink lots of wine, use a lot of different positions and then the time goes by and nope another negative pregnancy and that dreaded period we are hoping won’t come shows up as it’s supposed to. At this point, you start researching.

So let’s talk about ovulation. Essentially you have a few days to get pregnant, that’s it and even then there is no guarantee. The research I have found says on Ovulation day you have a 31% chance of getting pregnant and 27% chance the two days leading up to Ovulation day. How come when people have a one night stand, are teenagers not using protection or multiple other cases where children are not wanted it seems like these percentages are more like 90%.

Apparently, missionary is the best way to have sex when trying to get pregnant. I mean we all like some vanilla every now and then but every time. Then once you’re done your supposed to put your legs up in the air like a dead bug. So now you need to plan for sex so you’re not yelling at your husband to get you pillows, books whatever you can find to prop that ass up and keep your legs up until you feel like maybe just maybe the sperm made it to the cervix. That is if they don’t all die because inside your vagina is an acidic death trap until they reach past the cervix.

Now did you know you can’t sex every day? Hell, I thought that was the best part of trying. Getting to do it all the time…. but nope. You deplete the sperm! Now it’s time to get the calendar out and mark the days you can have sex. To make sure you stay in that realm of having enough sex but not too much.

Is anyone out there feeling as frustrated and bored as I am? Because what I thought was going to be really fun, sucks! But you still tell everyone who asks, how it’s going? “That still trying but that’s the fun part” because its human nature to lie and turn everything positive. If I told the truth that person would probably think that I’m weird or lie about their own experiences because a) they don’t want to admit it or b) feel bad for having it so easy. But the odd person might be honest and say something like ” Dude ya, it fucking sucks!”