Married Life, New Mom, Sex

Sex After Childbirth

They tell you to wait 6 weeks after having a baby to have sex. It was 3.5 weeks since I had my baby and I felt good I felt ready and not going to lie but I’ve been feeling very horny, so the question was should I or should I not wait the 6 weeks, is it just a guideline or a precaution? So I did what most people do now a days, I took to social media to find out what other moms had to say.

I’m in FB group for women all over Newfoundland who are having/had babies in 2018, so I asked them: “how many of them had sex before the 6 week mark, and if so did they experience any pain, complications etc.” I knew with it being a rather personal question I might not get a great response but I also assumed that I wasn’t the only person in the group with this question. Both my assumptions were correct. There are over 800 women in this group, and aside from women commenting “following”, I received 40 responses. Out of the 40 responses I received about 10 commenting “they were too scared to,” 18 said “they had and they were fine” and the other 12 responded with that “they had and it was extremely painful.” The majority of them did talk about their particular labour in respect to tearing, stitches etc. The majority of people who said it hurt did have bad tearing and multiple stitches but a number of the moms who commented on it being fine had those as well. So this is what I decided, each case is different as in most situations. I was fortunate enough that I had zero tearing and no stitches and I felt fine so in my conclusion sex should be fine, my first hurdle was delt with.

One of the reasons to wait six weeks is the risk of infection and no one had mentioned any issues, but the concept behind this is that if your cervix is still open it can increase your chance of infection. So i bought condoms, another hurdle conquered.

The last hurdle was the hardest, I was terrified of how it would feel for him. I just had a baby, I’m fortunate that I lost all my pregnancy weight with the baby (I only had gained 12 lbs) but I just pushed out a 6.5 lb baby out of my vagina less than 4 weeks ago so I had lots of worries. Was shit going to be loose as fuck? Would it even feel good for him? It seemed fine when I looked and felt down there but once he gets passed the lips is it going to be a gaping hole? Will it still be enjoyable for both of us really? There was no way to know any of this without actually trying!

Now the next problem was when, should I wait till we had a couple drinks so I’d be loose and relaxed? If we did though, maybe we’d be too rough and do more harm than good….. should I wait till baby is napping and have a mid afternoon quickie (you know after almost 4 weeks it’s going to be quick for him 😂) ?

This again would depend on you personally but for me I love drunk rough sex, so I decided against the drunk sex for the first time and we did a mid morning quickie. We used a condom and lots of lube and I was fine, it didn’t hurt, it felt good but naturally not as good as normal after 6 years with no condom with the same man it’s hard to be used to one again. The condom didn’t affect him though as I said 3.5 weeks no sex…. needless to say I shouldn’t of worried about him not enjoying it. 😂

So if you’re in the same boat, and debating what to do, just go with what your body says. Every person is different, and don’t worry about what him, he’s going to enjoy it, just make sure you’re ready to as well.

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